Lost in Translation

I started this blog when I was graduating college expecting to keep track of all life's adventures in this transitional time of life. To look back many years from now and admire/cringe/laugh at all I went through, as this is supposed to be the most exciting yet frightening time of anyone's life.

And here I am a little over 2 years out and have found that I am no where near where I dreamed I'd be. I've lost myself in the transition of life.
Yes, I am fully employed with what people would call a "great" job - and don't get me wrong, I am super grateful for where I am in my career, but looking at where I am and where I imagined I'd be are so far off.

I am in a career and an industry that I am unsure if I want to continue.
I live with my parents. I repeat, I LIVE with my parents (and my amazing baby kitty).
I am more single than single is.
I am not overweight, but I am not thin or fit or even close to living the heathly, fit lifestyle we all (at one point or another) claim that we will live.

Actually, I find myself more confused than ever. I thought your mid-twenties were supposed to be this amazing time of your life? And then I reflect back on myself and ask if I'm doing something wrong.

I tend to play the blame game on the things that I am unhappy about rather owning up to it and changing my life.
Like, if a girl ain't happy, why doesn't she do anything about it?!

I'll tell you why, because I blame my amazing, coveted job that I don't have the courage to leave.
The job that pays my CC bill, provides me with insurance, and does not add happiness to my life. And the f*cked up part about that, is I only imagine that this is a scenario most people find themselves in.

So what would I do if I had the guts to just mic drop my job and leave?
I thought about starting a YouTube channel, writing a (successful) blog, going back to school, quitting work and just spending 6 months working on myself physically, mentally, etc.

I'm not entirely sure what is ahead of me at this point, I guess anything can happen. But one (or two) thing is for sure, I want to be happy and healthy.

So here is to continuing the beginning of my life and actually striving to make my life what I want it to be.

-H

My Declaration...

I created this blog to keep record of my journey back to who I am, or rather, who I was before red solo cups, drunk texts, and four lokos. Back to my independent self that slipped away with my foggy drunken nights, assignment deadlines, and mostly my college years. And I believe I am still on the path that I started a couple months ago, I think just lost my drive and my focus, while getting caught up in the midsummer's heat. So with summer's end on the horizon, I am making a declaration for myself, a promise that I will become fit and healthy. I once heard that life is all about manifestations. So, here it is: I'm declaring August 26, 2013 as the first day of the rest of my life, the way that I want to live and the way I want to be. It will be the official start date of my journey.

This journey entails getting myself back into shape, eating healthy, reading more, loving myself first, and becoming the person that I want to be. I have had this idea in my head since I can remember, wanting to be a better person. And I'm done wanting it, I will become it.

The Awkward First Date After a Drunken Make-Out Sesh (Sometimes at the OD)

Okay, so this is my first summer after graduating college, my first summer living in Manayunk, my first summer being best friends again with my best friend, as well as living with her, my first summer really single after my breakup with my ex, and a first summer of many first dates.

So, most of my first dates have been with guys that I have met at a bar and have drunkenly made out with. So let's talk about the awkwardness of meeting each other again without our beer goggles on. There was one date in particular, which also happened to be my first date of the summer, with this guy that I had meet at the OD in Sea Isle, (for those of you who are not familiar with the OD, it is a sloppy-drunk bar where many people meet other singles and, in a drunken state, may believe they have met their future spouse) so, I met this guy Mike who at the time I believed was a hot, well dressed, guy who had a solid job, lived close by, and was nice to talk (and make out with) and I thought it was destined for a fairy tale ending. So we ended up going on a date, which was actually not as bad as it could have been. He was extremely nice and polite and fun, but nope there was just nothing there. And the awkwardness of meeting up just made me nervous.. do we hug? Will he kiss me? If so, on the check? On the lips? Having already locked lips for a majority of the night, I had no idea what to expect. But being that I happen to LOVE first dates, and the awkward, uncomfortable conversation of first dates it was nothing I couldn't handle, but its safe to say that I did not go out with him again nor have I heard from him since. (Thank GOD)

xx

h